I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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