im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
