scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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