This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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