And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
