"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
