you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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