Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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