I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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