im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
