oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
vagina is talking i cant
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
