There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
