dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Randomize
