Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
