He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
