If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
