I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
