I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
