he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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