He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
