someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
