I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
