Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
