brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
