How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
