I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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