No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He did a backflip because drugs
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
