I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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