i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
