I wish they made helmets for livers.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
