Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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