i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
