oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
