I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
