Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
