one two three fourrrrnication!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
