Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
