I think my fart just growled at me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
