I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
