You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
