You really coming over, don't trick.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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