I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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