Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
