Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
