I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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