We're facebook friends in real life
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
