he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
