we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
