oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
