wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
